Thursday, February 2, 2012

You might have Mommy-brain if...

OK, so this is a list of thinks I thought in the last 24 hours. Seriously... I have not been able to put two thoughts together in a straight line today, and I'm chalking it up to Mommy-brain. If you are familiar with Mommy-brain (the grouchy, caffeine-aholic, not-so-cute-and-cuddly cousin of Pregnancy-brain) then you can relate, I'm sure, but if not, this is what your brain looks like "on kids," in the form of a 24 hour (not organized chronologically because did-you-read-the-first-part-of-this-paragraph?) synopsis of all my lovely screw-ups:
-I shampooed my child's hair twice. Because I couldn't recall if I did it the first time.
-I threw out two batches of baked goods. Because sugar and salt look too darn much alike.
- I lost my broom on three separate occasions. Really? How hard is it to lose a 5 foot stick with a day glow yellow straw tip? Kinda tough to miss, you'd think. I had to send a five-year-old off to find it.
-I discovered I have a delightful form of sleep-deprived language disorder (aphasia) which makes me able only to produce intelligible speech when it is made up of words I shouldn't say in public. Kinda like motherhood-induced Tourettes. (ex- "We gotta go! Get in the .... DOH... DAMMIT... you know... the big 'ole mess with wheels that we take to the library. And where is your... CRAP! You know... the warm thing you wear outside?!!")
- I salted my hubby's veggies for his lunch tomorrow twice. This is because I forgot that I did it the first time, until I noticed that the scene playing out in front of me looked hauntingly familiar. I cannot WAIT for the call at 1 pm tomorrow asking why his lunch tastes funny. And yet, I still haven't fixed said error. Shhh.
- I have been blaming the kids for the shortages of silverware in our drawer, thinking they have been tossing it in the trash when clearing their plates (which, I'll note, is true since I've caught them red-handed doing it), only to notice that I just threw a spoon the trash while clearing my own plate (face-palm, sigh).
So there you have it- Can you relate?
"Shh, I'm working hard to convince her she's lost her freakin' mind. Tee hee!""

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