Friday, December 31, 2010

Dear God, Please Stop Time

I'm watching videos of last year on the dawn of the next year and I notice something. My little ones are growing up. Caleb's hair has changed. Looking at last year he still had the sweet angelic whisps of blond, uncut as of yet, and he still fell occaisionally and grunted to tell me whatever he needed. The girls are a bit pudgier than now, and still have a babyish lisp that makes them slightly tough to understand on video. And God, I know I complain alot... way too much, about life with little ones, but right now I want to stop and beg you to freeze time. No more advances, please.
My little ones still look at me with stars in their eyes. They still want to play games of Candy Land, and bake cookies. They don't know yet what "cool" means, and they still dress only for themselves. Artwork is simply for the sake of joy, no worrying about realism or coloring in the lines. Chores with Mommy are a reward, not a burden, and learning is an ecstatic process of ingesting new discoveries thru play. Christmas is a gleeful celebration of fun and song, not simply a wish list to be fulfilled or being drug to church by Mom and Dad. And Daddy is still the knight in shining armor, hailed by wild jubilation upon returning home from work. The mismatched clothes with tutus, glitter and glue explosions, the squeals of joy upon seeing a dog being walked down the street or the trash truck approaching, and the excitement over their daily gummy vitamin will all be so sorely missed if you choose not to grant my wish.
Sure, I'll get to see their scholarly achievements grow, and their faces mature in beauty, and greater independence dawn every day, but I can't bear the heartbreak of losing my babies. Already Caleb can talk and run and jump and torment his sisters in new ways every day, and the girls are learning so much about the world... more than I care for them to. So though I know you won't truly stop time... I'm hoping this blog will serve as my time capsule... and serve to remind me to appreciate each day and not long for it's passing, but savor each hug and dance and night night kiss. Thank you God for my perfectly perfect, wonderfully innocent, sweet little ones. May you guide me as I guide them and help me cope as they grow.
Your Loving Daughter,

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