Heaven help me, It's Wednesday!

Since the advent of the infamous Geico commercial featuring a camel in the office, most of us know that Wednesday is also known as Hump Day.  I, however, would like to find a new nickname for Wednesday. Something like, "Panic and loose your darn mind" Day, only catchier.  It is anything BUT getting over the hump of the week that I feel on that dreaded day of the week.

Am I the only one who lives in a dream world on Monday?  A world where responsibilities magically disappear into a mystical vortex of procrastination? It's a lovely world where I can take my time and get just Monday's tasks done, and even sometimes prepare in advance for the Tuesday, as well.  As a homeschool mom, that means Monday is when I take my schooling time to introduce the oh-so fun and whimsical week's topics-o'-learning, and then spend the next 3-5 hours trying to talk Hannah off the ledge of fury and resentment she teeters on when challenged with new, and therefore presumably difficult tasks ("Oh 'Challenge', you sneaky sneaky Machiavellian beast, you!) while Caleb tinkers with legos and Sarah immerses herself in whatever book she's reading.  Later after Hannah comes off whatever angry tantrum she's served up for that Monday, I smoosh in a load of laundry (to be forgotten about for 2 days or so) and hurriedly throw salad together for Ryan's lunches for the week before making up dinner and collapsing in an exhausted mess after the kids have their bedtime routine.  Okay, so maybe it's not really a Monday dream world, but it is the day I forget ALL. THE. OTHER. THINGS. THAT. NEED. DONE.

So what about Tuesday?  Tuesday is Co-op day, which to the homeschool mom is synonymous with "the day that NOTHING else gets done".  On Tuesdays we spend our mornings in the hurricane of lunchboxes and getting dressed which is commonly known to all regular school parents' experience, but which, admittedly, I SUCK at due to lack of practice and a generalized morning laziness.  The chaotic morning rush is followed closely by a scurrying off of tiny persons in mismatched clothing and unzipped backpacks, and then topped off with the occasional mumbled curse-word from Mom as we tumble haphazardly into the van to rush off to co-op.  After that, from 9 til 2 we learn ALL the things.  That is, all the things Mom doesn't teach the rest of the week, like art, chess, and how to squeeze 9 kids around an ipad at lunch to watch 1 kid play Minecraft.  When co-op is over, it's time to rush to the library to return/exchange books and then trudge back home by 4... where Momma crashes onto the couch and is good for absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. Really, I concede I cannot hack it as the mom who works and picks up kids from school and then works more at home.  I admit it.  Moms who work outside the house totally win the which-mom-is-tougher-War, in my humble opinion. But I digress...

Wednesday, then, is when I remember all the other things that didn't get done on Monday and Tuesday.  Wednesday starts with the crashing realization that we have no bread to eat (because I haven't made it on Monday), no food in the pantry (because I haven't been grocerying yet...yes, "grocery" can be used as a verb in the South), and other than 1 load of mildewy quasi-washed jeans, no clean clothing in the drawers, and usually no toilet paper in any of the bathrooms.  This Wednesday I actually was wakened by Hannah wailing over and over "Sarah!! Help meeeee!" on the potty at 5:30 a.m.  and when I questioned the little dear, she said she'd run out of toilet paper when she woke up a half hour earlier to go potty and had been sitting there crying for the past half hour for her sister to get up and help her get TP.  After I finished secretly giggling over my daughter's poor problem solving skills, I determined that I need to make refilling the TP more of a priority on Tuesdays, lest I have to wake up at another similarly ungodly hour to a wailing child with a heiny problem.

Once my little darling was wiped and sent back to bed, I would have loved to get back to bed for a little nap, but that is when I realized that I have three days left in the week to do everything that must be done to prevent my house from becoming an apocolyptic mess that will crash under the weight of all the dust, crap laying around, and unwashed laundry!  And then, because I'm ME and not the "Fly-lady" or one of these other fabulous, sparkly Mommy-bloggers who start their days before the sun with chores and a leisurely bible study on the Proverbs 31 woman, I proceeded to fret and worry for the next hour and a half before wake up time rather than drag my butt out of the bed to do some of the stuff needing done.  Because that's how I roll. 7 a.m. means we head downstairs, and for the next 4 hours I spend my time alternating feeding people, reteaching all Monday's subjects because not one of us recalls what we did (besides listening to Hannah rage at the unfairness of life), baking bread, and washing 4 loads of laundry plus one mildewy mess from Monday just hangin' out in the washer.  After school I announce that it's pre-lunch playtime, which means everyone is expected to haul their butts outside for sunshine, fun, and games.  This means Hannah and Caleb throw the same epic conniption they have EVERY day at outdoor time, with Caleb howling, "I HATE the Sun!!" and Hannah accusing me of using that time to sit around and eat bonbons and watch t.v. (totally untrue, I assure you... after all, I got that done Tuesday afternoon after co-op).  Lunch is hastily thrown together and served up to 2 sulking tykes outdoors...plus one Sarah who would prefer to eat hers in the chicken yard so she can share with Snowflake the leghorn.

"But Momma, Snowflake likes turkey sandwiches, too!"  Ummmm, NO!

Following lunch I squish in a quick workout so I can once more feel powerful and strong like Buffy the Vampire Slayer for a teensy portion of my day.  I love that time... it's a lovely time when everything else melts away and I can usually tune out the children opening the door every 5 minutes to ask if they can come inside yet, and I can live in the fantasy land where I am woman, hear me ROAR.  Unless I'm a teensy bit late with all the other morning stuff, in which case Mommy's workout gets thrown out the door so she can make up time to do the more mundane stuff of life.  At 1 school begins again for another couple hours of History, Science, and Crafts, and then there's a half hour of cleaning up the crafts while I lament the fact that I was moron enough to schedule arts and crafts day for Wednesdays.  It's 3:30ish when we're finished, which leaves me 45 minutes to accomplish alllllllllll my other chores, meaning I can either vacuum, clean up after baking and the dishes rotting in the sink, fold laundry, clean the chicken coop, OR rush off to grocery before I have to get dinner started, orchestrate bathtime, and clean up so we can host Lifegroup at 7. Somewhere in there I have to throw on real-people-clothes, as well, so people won't know that I spend my days in my pj's (I totally do, by the way).  Notice that I only got a couple of the things on my long list of stuff to do done?  Yep, that means Wed. night is spent fretting over how I'm going to get the rest of it done on Thurs. and Friday.

Somehow, it always manages to mostly get done by Friday's end (Grace of God?) but I surely don't care for the Wednesday rush.  But, after all is said and done, I must say, I'm usually grateful for what I DID accomplish on those days, and thankful for a healthy, strong body to work with and a sweet little family to serve    And it's a good thing for Moscato, time with Ryan, and DVR'd versions of my show on Wed. nights, because they make almost everything better at the end of the day. :)

After a brief hiatus...

  Welllllll maybe an almost-2 year hiatus, but who's counting?  Apparently some people are, because in the last couple months I've had LOTS of people asking about when am I going to blog again (okay, maybe not TONS, but at least 4 people, which is something like 100-150% of the total number of adult people I get to converse with in a week!  Staggering numbers, I tell you!).  So what's up?  Where ya been Mel?
  Well let's see... first of all, we are full swing into the elementary school years now, which was really the first strike against blogging for me because NO ONE NAPS.   Did you hear that?  I now have zero moments of silence in this house unless I hand my kids some forbidden contraband item, like sharpies and a brand new unblemished couch,  and say, "Go to town kiddos, Momma's chit-chatting on the internet!"  I am currently still working on inventing some tool to remove my kids from my butt that doesn't involve passive allowance of property destruction of some sort, but it's still in the work-up phase.  Elementary school also means, ahem, that I am teaching instead of doing all-the-other-things.  Everything else waits til 3.  Sigh.  At least I can vent on Facebook from time to time (since what else am I supposed to do but make fun of my kids' silly comments when they are working on worksheets?) but other than that, it's all business from 8-3, baby!
  Strike two for blogging, then, was the removal of TV time from our house.  "WHAT?!" you say. "Are you now AMISH, Mel?"  Believe me, around here some days it feels like it, especially since both removing TV time AND finding out Ryan is allergic to MSG, meaning practially.every.blessed.food must be made from scratch.  But, I found my kids were spending time watching t.v. and scheduling their day around their favorite shows, instead of using their time doing kid-things* (*See above note about their idea of fun and property destruction and use your imagination... someone told me those things are, gasp!, actually good for kids and their development, or some such nonsense).   In point of fact, I have not died yet from the removal of the electronic babysitter, but have actually seen positive growth in my children's imaginative play.  Sarah even once told me she likes not having TV anymore because she gets to play longer after school.  I didn't even have to tie her up and tickle her to get her to say it, I swear.   And, bonus, they don't go around singing the stupid jingles from their shows all day, either.   They've now replaced the "Silent E Is a Ninja" rap from The Electric Company with either 1.  Any/all Frozen songs, or 2.  Hilariously misheard Christian-Pop lyrics.  Ah well, you win some, you lose some.
  Then strike 3 came.  Moving.  We moved our whole frickin house-load of stuff from one place to another.  If that's not enough to pause a blog, I don't know what is!  If you knew how much "STUFF" Ryan accumulates, you would understand.  He's like a tall, brilliant, preppy version of "Hoarders".  Friends asked me why I needed to bring along our deli meat slicer or our restaurant grade steam kettle that weighs, no lie, 150 lbs, and I had to tell them its because they're his PRECIOUS and he will lose his schmidt if he ever goes looking for those things and can't find them.  Sigh.
  So now it's a year and a half since moving, you say?  What took so long since then?  Well, reader, after we moved and renovated an entire floor of our house, then we decided to move Mom and Dad into our guest house, requiring a renovation of that guesthouse and the garage.  This was because life with Mommy and Daddy nearbye makes me oh so much more sane and gives me a big bunch o' help when I need it.  But it also took a long time and lots of energy.   Then, because I am a bit unbalanced, I decided to add more creatures to my family that I am responsible for, so we built a chicken coop and added 8 squawking fluffybutts to our property.   One of our little hens is so hilariously mentally unstable with her frequent, prison-break-style, death-defying attempts to get into our neighbor's yard that I not-so-affectionately refer to her now as "Loco" despite Sarah's insistence that her name is "Elsa".   She may get a guest post or two some day... I confess that somewhere deep down I like her pluck and nutty ways.  Or she may end up in the soup.  Time will tell.  
  So let's see... I covered where I am now.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll make it back onto this computer for more than 30 minutes of uninterrupted time again to add more.  Or maybe this'll just explain why it's so quiet around here on Blogger lately.  Who knows?  As it is, I couldn't even take a hot shower for 20 minutes today without having to stop the shower twice to answer, "MOOOOM!  Can we paint the basketball hoop?"  and, "MOOOOOOM!  Can you open my yogurt for me?? Cuz Hannah and Sarah won't come in and help meeeeeeee!"  So, you see, life is happening here, people!  But I sure do hope to make it in from time to time because I very much missed blogging and putting my thoughts down so that I won't forget this crazy life later when it's all boring and quiet and stuff.
P.S.  Did you see I won a "Cutest Blog On The Block?" pin while I was away?  Squeee!!  I have no idea how you get those, but I'm super impressed with myself right now, I won't even lie.

The day my kids became football fans

My kids have picked their teams and have decided they are now football fanatics.  How do 2 six-year-olds and an almost-four-year-old make football picks, you ask?  It goes a little something like this...

While watching the Eagles game, the half time report gave the rundown of the day's games so far.  The kids sat by watching the report and for each team pictured, they gleefully played their own little game guessing what the names of the teams were and who would, consequently, win based on their guesses.  The conversation led down the following lines of logic:

Hannah: "Ooh, it's the birds against the bigger birds!" (Translation: Cardinals versus Falcons)
Sarah: "Oh yeah, and there's the Tigers!"
Momma: "The Bengals"
Hannah: "Oooh Bagels!  I love Bagels!  I'm voting for them to win!"
Caleb (with Random Loud Interjection): "I'M STILL VOTING FOR THE BLACKSKINS!"
Momma and Daddy: "IT'S REDSKINS!"
Caleb:  "Yeah, them"
Sarah: "So then there's the Redskins and Eagles..."
Hannah: "Oh and there's the Cheetas!"
Momma: "The Jaguars"
Caleb: "Ooh, nevermind, I want the Cheese-its to win!"
Sarah (in overly bossy know-it-all voice): "It's Cheetas, not Cheese-its"
Momma: "JAGUARS.  They're Jaguars."
Hannah: "Ok, so Caleb's for the Cheese-its, I'm for the Bagels, and Sarah's for the Eagles"
And so it was settled.  Caleb's a Jaguars Fan, Hannah's a Bengels Fan, and Sarah is the only one who may still live under our roof after today, according to Ryan.  Only room for Eagles fans here :). 

Then again, I suppose if there was a "Mocha Java" team, that one'd be mine and I would "vote" for them :)

We went to Disney World!!

Well, the title just about says it all... last week we spent 7 whirlwind days in Buena Vista, FL at Disneyworld.  What an awesome, and draining adventure.  I won't deign to call it a vacation because you really can't call anything a vacation that involves 7 days of sleep deprivation and 7-10 mile hikes a day while someone shouts, "The show starts in 10 minutes and we have to get to the other side of the park... MOVE IT!" (p.s. that voice was usually mine, lol).  And despite the fact that I spent the week beforehand sanitizing my children head to toe, avoiding social contact, and making sure my children licked NOTHING, every one of the children ended up sick with whopper colds, as well as 3 out of 4 of the adults by the end of the trip.  I must say, though, God was gracious and answered our prayers for help because every day, magically, by 9 a.m. their cold symptoms lessened significantly and we were all able to enjoy each day's events as they presented themselves.  Therefore, I apologize now to all those in Florida who are now sick at our expense as we spread our germs over several square miles with speed and efficiency.  I especially loved the moment when Caleb licked a handrail from top to bottom for a full 20 feet of germy-goodness.  I'm also quite certain that at this particular moment our bodies are trying to generate antibodies for a whole smattering of illnesses from all over the world.  Sigh.  Alas, it was totally worth it. 

Disney is magic.  It was when I was 4, and it still is.  Starting with the hotel, which was exceptionally wonderful.  We opted to stay in the park, which gave us access to the excellent bus system and allowed us to enjoy Extra Magic Hours (EMH) in the parks (each day of the week a different park either opens early or extra late for those staying in the park hotels).  I know most travel guides say avoid going to parks for EMH's; however, this time of year the parks were sufficiently empty so as to make even the largest crowds a breeze, but I digress...
We stayed at the All Star Music Resort, a very budget-friendly option, and let me tell you, I was worried about what I would find after reading some bad (older) reviews.  But now, what's this?  A completely clean, tastefully decorated suite, complete with kitchenette, 3 pull out beds for the kids, and a SEPARATE BEDROOM for the adults??  Yep, that's right.  Ryan and I were given a magical door which shut out the children and allowed for privacy and the ability to sit up and relax after the kids went down rather than having (as I did in past hotel stays) to huddle in the restroom with the light on, reading a book, while Ryan goes out for a beer wherever until 10ish when we hit the sack.  This room was a complete blessing for our family and for my personal sanity.  I might also mention the pool was very nice and the cafeteria offered a really nice selection of options, albeit marked up to ridiculous prices (as with all Disney food... picture shelling out $10.50 for three modest Popsicles). 

Which brings me to the food.  Ryan and I are foodies, so a good chunk of our Disney budget was spent on  food.  We opted not to try the dining plan, as Internet research seemed to indicate we probably wouldn't save that much, if anything, with a plan.  The receipts will tell in time, but we haven't touched that yet.  Our fave meals: the buffet at Boma in Animal Kingdom Lodge (South African Fare... everyone in our party of 13 seemed to really enjoy it), the Biergarten in Epcot (excellent German buffet with a fun show to boot), and dinner for two outside the main resort area in the Dolphin Hotel at Bluezoo, which offered absolutely fabulous gourmet fare for a very hefty price tag (totally worth it!).  We carried our own snacks in the park (granola and almonds) and carried refillable water bottles to save a bit of $$ on snacking and drinks, and ate breakfast in our room after a quick trip to the (also grossly overpriced) local Winn Dixie for groceries.  For the kids meals in the park, I would give a grade of "B".  Offerings were typically the same junk-foody menus of pizza, hot dogs, burgers, and PB & J; however, I was pleasantly surprised to see that instead of fries and chips, kids were given many options, including veggies (usually carrot sticks), grapes, yogurt (granted, the crazy-sugary kind), etc.  And at the sit down restaurants, they offered some variations on the theme for kids, allowing for the occasional nutrient to reach my childrens' gut.  Admittedly, our food choices did not help as the germs completed their tour-de-force through our family's systems, I know.  But again, a huge chunk of our vacation was planned around the food. And I will say, their care for allergy and food sensitivities was AMAZING.  If your child has a food allergy, a chef will personally lead you thru the menu or walk you thru the buffet, and many places offer excellent choices for the gluten-free/dairy free kid.  A friend of mine noted that her son had his first chicken fingers in Disney, with the reaction of "What is this magical stuff you gave me, Mommy?" since he had never been able to have a chicken strip before that due to severe Celiac's Disease.  The kids fave meals: T-Rex in Downtown Disney (the most awesome setting full of robotic dinosaurs in every corner), and the Rainforest Cafe, in Animal Kingdom.  We also attended the luau at the Polynesian Resort... and while the show was really exceptional, I would not say the food lived up to the ridiculous price tag (over $300 for our party of 7 for uninspired bbq ribs, bbq chicken, fried rice, and pinapple flavored everything).

And then there were the parks.  Oh, there just isn't enough time or words to describe all the fun and magic.  My first suggestion: if you have the ability, please go in off-peak season.  I scoured the Internet for planning tips to make park planning simpler, since every blog I read seemed to agree that there are certain strategies needed in order to avoid long waits at the park, like using "fast passes" and hitting the really popular rides early to obtain fast passes for shorter wait times later in the day.  A "fast pass" is a ticket you can obtain at a booth near many of the popular rides which allows the ticket-holder to come back at a later hour (specified on the ticket, i.e. between 1:05 and 2:05)... if you come back in that window of time, you walk thru a fast pass entrance which provides for a much more minimal wait time (like 5-7 minutes instead of 40+ minutes). 

I had it all planned out to a science...at 9 am we hit the park at opening, then proceed to rides x and y for fast-passes on the way to ride z for the short morning line. Suffice it to say, though, thankfully all my planning was wasted because the crowds were fantastically, mercifully, low.  We never had to wait for more than 15 minutes on any ride in any park, save 2.  One was the "Greet the Princesses" experience in the Magic Kingdom (where the kids get to meet, talk with, and get a picture with their favorite princesses... a huge hit right near the entrance to the MK on main street- the girls loved it, but for some reason, at least at first, Caleb found Rapunzel and her peers TERRIFYING.  I have no idea why. Sigh.). We waited 35 minutes at the Princess Greeting because we missed our fast-pass window (and, yes, they now strictly enforce the time window on your fast-passes).  The second line we waited a bit more was the Toy Story Mania ride in Hollywood Studios.  We got to the park at 9 (it opened at 8), and went straight there as per our travel guide advice that this ride fills fast and "get a fast-pass ASAP".  When we got to the line at 9:05, there was a 70 minute wait time.  When we got to the line for our fast-pass time window, we still waited 20 minutes; however, it was totally worth it as the main line had an 130 min wait time.  Please let me assure you, this was one of the best rides in the parks and totally worth driving my family at breakneck speed to the fast-pass machine at 9 a.m.  Every person in our party of 7 agreed on it :)  Other can't miss rides that were loved in the parks:

Magic Kingdom-
I'm sure the Dumbo ride has a kid-crack dispenser somewhere because my kids wanted to ride it over and over.  Never mind that there are 14 other variations on the same ride scattered everywhere throughout the parks... Dumbo was their fave hands-down.  In addition, they loved the motorway, ALL the rides in Futureworld, esp. the Laugh Factory and Stitch's Escape (Caleb now ADORES Stitch and is obsessed with his Stitch stuffed animal he got as a souvenir), Peter Pan, Small World, and the newest rides in Fantasyland: "The Little Mermaid" and "Belle's Enchanted Storytime" (Awesome!  They got to act out the Beauty and the Beast story WITH BELLE!). 

Epcot-
Hands down, the family favorite was "Soarin'" followed by the Living Seas Rides and Aquariums (Nemo and "Turtle Talk with Crush").  Ryan and I loved strolling around the World Showcase, and I thought the kids would love it, but the day we went it was blazing hot and they just couldn't enjoy it quite as much as the more exciting parks because the poor dears were too wilted to care.  They enjoyed themselves still at both parts of Epcot, but I will say the heat and lesser number of "kid-crack" rides made Epcot the least appealing for the kids.  Still tons of fun, though. 

Animal Kingdom-
My personal fave park from the week.  I loved the more organic settings, the beauty everywhere you look, and, of course, the awesome animals.  The gorillas alone moved me to tears.  But there are also TONS of fun rides, as well as a petting zoo at the end of a train ride (I'm pretty sure the littles were in ecstasy for those, while the rest of us held our noses in musty-goaty-disgust).  Ryan and Dad loved Expedition Everest, a smallish roller coaster that was too scary for our kids, and Dinosaur (also too scary for small children and people who have motion sickness, they reported), while the kids LOVED Dinoland USA.  They could have stayed there another day and been thrilled, with it's dino-dig area and playground structures, Triceratops ride, mini roller coaster, and restaurants that give out sand pails with kids meals (you would have thought they were given pure gold to eat... my advice, if you want your kid to be happy, serve meals in a .50 cent cheapo sand pail, lol.).  But by far, the shows beat it all.  You must must MUST see their Lion King and Nemo live shows.  Lion King, in particular, had us all bug-eyed, goofily-grinning in awe of the sights and songs.  Really, don't miss it. 
I'd love to go on and on, but really my poor Mommy brain just can recall all the fun perfectly after a 3 day lag since returning.  However, I will share a few fun photos; a preview since we have not fully edited all our photos for posting yet.  I loved the entire time, but I'm gonna need a good 5 year break before going again in order to rest and recuperate, lol.  Thanks Mom and Dad for joining us, and sorry for running you two ragged, but we loved every minute with you! :)

 

 

p.s. One more hint:  Buy souvenirs before leaving your home to go to the parks.  Those Mickey ears pictured above were purchased at Walmart for $5 and saved us so much trouble, money, and whining.  We also bought the kids sticker activity books, neon glowsticks for the fireworks show, and a couple of Disney-themed Leapster games at the $5 store beforehand, making it easy to say "yes" when they asked for fun stuff to take home from their vacation.  Also, the princess dresses pictured are 20% cheaper here at our Disney store than they are in the parks.  :)

   

My two selves...

Do you ever get the feeling that you have 2 distinct personalities; one for the morning and one for the evening?  Now, before you start backing up and thinking, "Alrighty, Mel's gone all 'Cybill' on us, time to call the Paddywagon and haul her off," know that I'm OK and just on the right side of the scale from normal to crazy that I should be, but...
I definitely find myself thinking thoughts in the morning that I would slap myself for in the afternoon.  Like, "Hey, that load of laundry doesn't need folded right now.  Why rush now when you'll have 2 hours this evening to do it after the kids to bed." Meanwhile, 8 hours later, my brain is saying, "What the HELL was I thinking??!  Oh well, it'll wait till tomorrow morning," leading to the inevitable moment three days later when none of my family members can find their underwear or clean clothes because they're all in a pile in the corner of my room waiting to be folded.  Or, heaven forbid, still soaking wet and growing lovely cultures of mildew in my washing machine.  You know you've done it- no judging!
Another example: this morning was the weekly mad dash to get ready for co-op that confirms my every notion that I would make a sucky public school mom.  I am not cut out for packing lunches, making sure we all get out of our jammies, brushing people's hair, and otherwise making sure that we are presentable human beings before 9 a.m.  In fact, most days I don't manage to get out of my own jammies until the last possible moment before my husband gets home (so I can carry on the illusion that his wife looked lovely and well-put-together all throughout the day... BWAHAAHAHHA! Not!).  So this morning I had a bit of a hissy fit when, for the fourth week in a row, I had to wait on my children to find their preferred shoes and redirect them when they chose the trashiest ones they own, and then redirect them again to put on those trashy shoes because we cannot find their good shoes in the big horrible mess we call a coat closet.   Last week Sarah actually had a blowout for her trashy shoes and they literally FELL APART while in school, causing her to have to run around barefoot through the day.  This week, it was Sarah again sitting in front of the shoe closet door fretting about which shoes to wear while I sat trying to wedge the door open with about 5 thousand little school things hanging off various parts of my body and trying to balance the keys just right to hit the fob for my other kids, who were trying to scale the van out of sheer boredom because of the whole three minutes they had to wait for us to get out to the van to meet them.  Aaaaannnd that is where I hit my tipping point into the bad side of crazy.  I threw down my school things, popped the van door for Hannah and Caleb to get them to stop climbing my van ("Dear Lord, please protect them from learning to work the shifter while I'm busy inside"), and proceeded to throw every last shoe out of the closet onto the floor, vowing that this afternoon I would organize the whole thing and make it work better for us.  This is the result:

 

 

And that's what we came home to, 6 hours and 4 classes later.  My afternoon self is now cursing my morning self with its usual, "What the HELL were you thinking??!"   6 hours later I have no energy and 3 kids bursting at the seems with energy, inside, on a rainy day.  6 hours later I still have to make dinner, put away our school supplies, clean up the kitchen, and "oh, hey, by the way, why don't you consider blogging about your troubles instead of doing something productive about it, Mel?"   Yep.  My afternoon self is not liking my morning self so much right now.  And my afternoon self might not get around to addressing this mess until about 5 minutes before Ryan comes home.  Because my afternoon self would like to make sure my evening self is just as pissed off as my afternoon self is right now, I guess.  And so the cycle continues...

 

Momma's Gradients of "Dirty"

Yesterday I got a bug up my butt to get the kids' play-set water sealed.  Why this idea occurred to me right smack in the middle of planning season for school and a day before company comes is a mystery even to myself, but nevertheless, the idea wouldn't let go.  Then I, much like any red-blooded American, put it off till "tomorrow."  That means, I did it today instead; the same day company is coming.  Smart.
Anyway, I put out the kiddie pool for the littles, made sure drinking water was available, and set to ignoring my kids pleas of boredom so I could begin my work.  After 4 hours of back-breaking work and 2 containers of Thompson's Water-Seal, plus several reapplications of sunscreen, and a 10 minute break to wallow in the mudpit my children created out of the kiddie pool, I was a whole new level of dirty.  I possessed on my skin several alternating layers of water-sealant, sunscreen, sweat, and mud.  Pretty though, eh?  I don't need to tell you how welcome that shower was. :) Aaaah.
So, while I was showering, it occurred to me that I have several gradients of dirty for our family,
scaled according to the type/level of dirt and how it gets removed (from simple to downright nasty):

1.  Balmy: This level is what occurs just through ordinary play or a walk outdoors on a humid day.  In my house it means a scrub down at the sinkside with a washcloth and occasionally, but not often enough, a new set of clothes.  Why?  Because too many changes in a day means more laundry, dernit, and I am as cheap as I am wordy. 

2.  Murky: A trip out to the play-set sandbox or the kiddie pool with sunscreen on results in "murky".  A mixture of the white, nasty oiliness of sunscreen plus muck creates a muddy sheen on the kids skin.  Off to the shower and the laundry room for you!

3. Crusty: this is the level my family gets to after a good long day of gardening or yard work.  Layers of dried mud plus grass and, in some cases, insect carcasses (yes, we've been there, esp. after the caterpillars invaded our yard the other day...picture my kids frolicking through the yard with glee, covering their feet and clothes in caterpillar parts).  Get a hose and leave your clothes on the front mat- you aren't worthy of the tub, yet. 

4. Zoo-Worthy:  After a day at the petting zoo loving-on (squishing) chickens and rolling in the hay (covered in goose poo), and perhaps kissing horses, I sometimes consider just leaving them there to continue to wallow while I grab a Starbucks...

Well I consider it, I didn't say I DO it. 
This level requires a hose, removal of the clothes, antibacterial scrubs for the shoes, and a extra long shower.  Plus bleach for the clothes.  And Starbucks.

5.  Swamp-thing.  - At this level, they've been allowed to run a little too freely in the woods, and probably should be left to live there as they're already nicely camouflaged and insect-proof from the dried mud.   They also probably have contracted some sort of gastrointestinal problem from the pond water and would be better off left behind, rather than suffer thru what it will take to get the filth out of their hair and orifices.  This level involves burning/trashing clothes, plastic sheeting over carseats and upholstery on the way home, and small people moaning about how mean mom is that she makes them scrub the bathroom and clean the floors after they've walked thru the house and showered (and after being hit with the hose outdoors, as well). 

Today I think I hit Zoo-Worthy.  Pity that I don't have the gumption to hose myself off, because now I need to vacuum my path back up the stairs and start a load of laundry.  On the upside, I am now waterproof in some parts of my body :)  And I need Starbucks, cuz now I have to go clean the house up for company, lol. 

 

No Comprende

So I've been teaching the girls lessons on World Geography since December, with one country spotlighted each week using video tours, map work, worksheets, and fun country-specific activities.  So far we have covered the assigned countries in our curriculum for Europe, Asia, and North America.
This week, we studied Mexico, with the first part of the week focused on learning a little about the history of Mexico, including the history of the native Mexican people and how Spanish Conquistadors explored and later claimed Mexico for Spain until Mexico became it's own independent nation.  Later in the week, as part of our studies we created a "quilt" of images that are representative of the culture and peoples of Mexico.  We colored images of Chichen Itza, a cactus, a sombrero, the flag of Mexico, etc. 
One of the last images added to our patchwork of Mexico was of a bull.  When we got to that image, Sarah's eye's lit up with a spark of recognition... "Momma!  Is that bull there because they have bullfights in Mexico?!" 
"Yes," I replied,"bullfighting is the national sport of Mexico"
"But Momma," Hannah said, "that's the sport for Spain, too!"
"Mmm-hmm.  Why do you think Spain and Mexico would have the same sports?" I asked.
"Ooh ooh, I know!" Hannah said excitedly.  "It's because Spain and Mexico are neighbors!"
Mentally facepalming myself... I sighed and composed my patient, kind-Mommy response.  "No honey, remember we learned about Spain, that it's part of Europe, and that the explorers who came to Mexico came all the way across the Atlantic Ocean from Spain.  It was a far voyage, so they're definitely not neighbors.  Try again.  Why would Mexico and Spain have the same sport?"
Sarah chimed in, "Ooh, it's because they both speak SPANISH!"
"Oooookaaayy.  But why do they share the same language and sports?"
(chirp-chirp)
"Remember girls, we learned that Spain ruled the country of Mexico for many years?  That means that people from the country of Spain owned and lived in Mexico, and so they would have similar language, foods, sports, etc." 
(chirp-chirp)
"Do you remember, girls, when we learned that Great Britain used to own and rule the 13 original colonies of what is now the United States?  Remember I told you that?"
"YES!" they beamed cutely. 
"Ok, well we speak English here and for many years had many things in common with the people of Great Britain because it was British people who originally helped start our country.  In Mexico, it was the country of Spain that helped make Mexico what it is today, so the people there speak Spanish and have more in common with the people of Spain." 
(chirp-chirp)
"Sooooooo, Mommy," Sarah asked, "Most people here in America speak Spanish?"
(Losing my cool)... "What?  Where did you hear me say that??  Most people here speak English.  That's the official language of the United States." 
"Ohhhh, ok," Hannah mused, "so that means in Spain people speak English,too?"
"Gah!"  I decided to start again,  "Ok, listen.  In Spain they speak..."
"Spanish!"
"Good!  And what do they speak in Mexico, since Spain ruled Mexico for many hundreds of years?"
"Spanish!"
"Good! And since the United Stated was ruled by Great Britain instead of Spain, what do we speak here in the United States?"
"SPANGLISH!"
(real facepalm)
Is it this hard when teaching in public schools?!
Sigh. 
In their defense, they're mostly right nowadays for a big part of our country.  :)